Bridge generation

I lived in central New York for graduate work, and made friends with a Taiwanese couple. Although I felt awkward conversing in Mandarin and Taiwanese, they spoke English well and had no problems understanding my mixed jargons of English, Mandarin, and Taiwanese. My friends told me that I am considered "the bridge generation," because I retained the ability to converse, read and write Chinese, so I was seen as a bridge between western culture and Chinese culture.

I have been confused with cultural identity. What do I teach my children about their culture? I haven't figured out the answer for myself.

As an undergraduate, I took two Classic Chinese classes. I wanted to learn more about the poems and stories I had heard as a little girl. I felt the desire to learn the stories in its native language. Classic Chinese is akin to Latin - all ancient texts were written in it but no one uses it anymore.

I find myself half-saturated with eastern-ness, half-saturated with western-ness. I speak and dream in English.

I am often mistaken as "ABC" or American-born Chinese, because I don't have an accent. English was not my native tongue. I also suspect that to some Taiwanese, I may be called "a banana" (yellow on the outside, white on the inside.) They can't see an inkling of Chinese culture in me. My mouth and brain are full of English expressions and western thoughts. All this would not have bothered me if it were true, if I have lost all Chinese-ness from me.

I need a bridge for my bridge generation.