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Happiness Is
Ephemeral
Secret number 12: Have realistic expectations. "People who are
happy don't get everything they want, but they want most of what they
get." Niven, The 100 Simple Secrets of
Happy People.
I've read that somewhere before, but I'm thinking about what this
sentence means. I have not experienced the principle. Somewhere along
my mental and emotional development, I've embarked upon the "conquering"
approach. I didn't care about the accomplishments I've achieved -
I've already done it. Instead of feeling proud beyond an hour, I was
looking for "even better" achievements.
Psychologically, therefore, I could not feel very good about myself.
I did not allow myself to own the nice things I had done. I thought
that if someone "like me" could achieve it, then it probably
wasn't a big deal. This acquired trait helped get me to a nice "place"
in life, but at great emotional expenses. I felt euphoria in achieving,
then, like a drug, euphoria would pass and I began hunting for the
next wave of euphoria. In the back of my mind, I looked for the One
Achievement that would satisfy me, make me finally happy.
This was my search for the elusive state of happiness. Happiness appeared
as that wonderful, everlasting inner peace and joy and fulfillment.
If happiness meant such heightened emotions, I am sure sustained happiness
would burn my mind the way ecstasy annihilated serotonin receptors.
Happiness is a heightened experience. Contentment is a continual flow.
Happiness is a 100-meter dash. Contentment is a 26K marathon. Happiness
is ephemeral. Contentment lasts forever.
I am learning to be content, one day at a time. Sometimes I count
my blessings, one minute at a time. I still forget from time and time,
to feel anxious about where life is going and how it will end and
whether I will have made an impact. Then I remember that my life is
going rather, that wherever life takes me is where I wanted to be.
And that at least for Cass and me, my presence brings contentment
and laughter and many good things. |
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